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Soul Searching

June 23, 2009

“I walk amongst many who have known me for a lifetime, but I am ready to walk amongst those – who have not known me at all.” ~ by Eleesha , Author of – The Soul Whisperer

I came across this inspirational quote via my twitter stream today. It really hit home for me. For what has seemed like a lifetime I have searched for my passion in life. I’ve started school more than once (only to not finish because life always seems to get in the way), sold gift baskets and have been in deep thought about starting an event planning business. All of those things excite me but I keep coming back to this thing called diabetes. My illness, my disease, my pain in the <insert swear word here>.

I’ve spoke to several people who have diabetes and there is only a handful of us that want to make a difference. It seems like most people just want it to go away (we all want that) and because it wont they just QUIETLY live with it. I talk way to much to be quiet with this thing called diabetes. That’s good right? Of course it is BUT my issue is that I easily get frustrated when things don’t come together as quickly as I think they should. I get disappointed because I don’t have all of the resources that I know are here in Kansas City. Then I’m ready to dismiss it and move on to the next thing that’s rolling through my brain (and there are many) but I can’t. Something just wont let me walk away. The minute I start to feel defeated someone will ask me why I haven’t posted to my blog (Thanks Thomas and Cherise) or I will get a request for some diabetes awareness ribbons or my mom will ask me when are we going to start making ribbons for World Diabetes Day. My granny has told me that God knows what your thinking before you do and sometimes he will talk to you through others. Grandma’s are so smart!

I love talking about diabetes, pointing people towards diabetes resources, learning new tips and tricks about living with diabetes, and planning diabetes events. Over the last couple of weeks I come to realize that this path that I have started down will not be easy and it may be long but it’s a necessary walk. I’ve also realized it’s not one that I’m walking down by myself. When I turned around to go back I saw all of the people that I would have to get through to get back to that fork in the road. Then I thought as I pass them by going the wrong direction what will I tell them? Sorry people this is just to hard, it just didn’t come together quick enough, diabetes just isn’t as important here in Kansas City as it is in New York or California. I doubt that those excuses will fly with some of them. Now that I think about that it’s not good enough for me.

I’m going to have to talk to people in the grocery store line, pass out ribbons to the local pharmacy staff, attend diabetes support groups, (as Cherise has told me) blog consistently, attend the community health fairs and get a t-shirt made to advertise it all. I’m going to have to walk among those who don’t know me at all, speak loud and clear, and start the conversation.

Thank you to everyone who have shoved my shoulder and told me to turn around (you know like when you were in line at school), continued to encourage me to walk the walk and talk the talk, and to everyone who reads my sporadic posts blog.

Talk about it because Everyone Knows Someone!

Andrea B.

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